


Wishes upon the stars

by yuraxchan



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-05
Updated: 2013-10-05
Packaged: 2017-12-28 11:57:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/991739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuraxchan/pseuds/yuraxchan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Because there won't be anything left of me'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wishes upon the stars

**Author's Note:**

> A very personal work, written for a precious friend of mine.

Lying beside each other on the rooftop of the building, they silently watched the stars and the moon, empty cans of beer trailing on the floor. The weather was hot in Seoul in July, but a chilly wind made goosebumps appear on their skin.

They had their comeback one month ago and were restless with all the interviews, broadcasts, MV filming and radio shows. With a few hours of sleep per night, and after a month, the excitation morphed into exhaustion. Signs of tiredness and stress began to be visible on their faces, while performances lost their dynamism and energy. They came to a point where they didn’t have the strength to hide their exhaustion anymore.

The day after was a day off so ‘Tao’ and ‘Kris’ chose to slack off on the rooftop of the dorms. They ate pizzas with the others before they left, just the two of them, to share a beer. They liked to spend time with each other sometimes, they didn’t have to do something special or anything, just being together was sufficient.

Yifan crossed his arms under his head and let out a sigh, relaxing. He could feel the tension leave his body while lying there and doing nothing.

‘Yifan’, breathed Zitao, breaking the silence.

The older tsked at the missing honorific but didn’t say anything, waiting patiently to hear what Zitao would say.

‘Aren’t you scared ?’, he asked softly.

‘Scared ? Of what ? Are you afraid of the dark ? I promise I will protect you from the ghosts, maknae’, the leader chuckled.

Zitao snorted. ‘No.’ He paused. ‘I was just thinking…about you and me’, he trailed off.

‘What about you and me ?’, Yifan replied slowly, feeling sleepy.

‘Do you think we will be together for a long time ? I know EXO isn’t eternal, I hope we’ll stay in touch though. But I mean…you and I gege, are we going to drift apart one day ?’, he explained, wondering.

Yifan shifted a little to face the younger. The latter’s gaze was focused on the stars – he looks tired, the leader noticed, and very _very_ young at this moment, with the worry evident on his expression.

Zitao never looked as vulnerable as when they were just the two of them, sharing thoughts and worries to each other. He was the second youngest and people easily forgot how truly young he was. From day one he was pushed in the spotlight along with Jongin and the company put a lot of pressure on the both of them. Maybe that’s the reason Zitao was feeling obligated to act and look older than his age. Or maybe he was just that mature, Yifan couldn’t decide which one was the real explanation.

Zitao was a paradox and although he prided himself as to be the one that knew him the best, sometimes he couldn’t figure the other and was left hanging, not knowing what to think, what to say and how to react.

This moment was one good example.

‘What do you mean ?’, he asked, cautiously.

He knew he had to be careful with his words. Zitao would often feel himself being misunderstood. He was easily hurt by others’ words – even unintentionally - and closed off immediately, faking a smile and changing the subject. It happened a lot of times in the past and Yifan didn’t want to risk it.

Zitao sighed and turned to look him in the eyes. ‘I’m just scared that…one day you won’t remember me – us, and that I’ll be the only one to remember our memories together. I’m so fucking scared to wake up one day and realize that everything was a lie, an illusion. I don’t want all of this to be ephemeral, just a phase, a moment – because there won’t be anything left of _me_. I would have given my everything and there won’t be anything left _for_ me.’, he confessed softly, a faraway look on his face.

Yifan held his breath, not knowing what to say to reassure the younger. What could he possibly say to him without sounding off ? He just couldn’t reply something worn-out and common while the younger was pouring his heart out to him.

Zitao seemed to feel his conflict and smiled softly then resumed looking at the stars.

‘Nevermind. Sometimes I think too much, you know me’, he chuckled.

‘Tao…’, Yifan trailed off, upset with himself.

‘Don’t sweat it, it’s nothing really’, he added quickly, sitting up to mask his uneasiness.

Yifan sat up too and caught his wrist before he got up. ‘I’m not going anywhere. I don’t know what will become of EXO, or us but I’m not going anywhere. So don’t think too much, I’ll always be by your side one way or another. I’m not leaving you. I know it’s difficult for you to trust me, but please keep it in mind, I don’t want you to worry about it. Ever.’, he stated firmly.

They looked at each other for a while then Zitao smiled. A shy yet beautiful smile, illuminating his face.

‘I trust you, gege.’, he breathed.

Yifan grinned and ruffled his hair. It seemed he found the good thing to say this time. It wasn’t a promise or anything really reliable but it was enough to appease and reassure Zitao – it was a start.

 

 

 


End file.
